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An Italian Mother's Day Menu

By Vincent Scordo on May 7, 2011 | Comments | 0 TrackBacks

(photo: my mother, Annunziata)

If you grew up in a wonderful household full of love, warmth, and good food it was probably a direct result of your mother (sorry to all of the well rounded fathers out there). In turn, your lovely mother most likely deserves, at the very least, a home cooked and Italian themed meal on Mother's Day.

Here are our official menu selections for Mother's Day, 2011:

Select frittatas, including potato and onions, fresh herbs, and mushroom
Spinach risotto
Select crostoni, including roasted pepper and chickpea spread and/or pizza
A pitcher of Scordonis or a few wonderful bottles of wine

Treat your mother (and wife) well and all will be good in world!

A Plea to Cook at Home: Fast Italian Food

By Vincent Scordo on January 7, 2011 | Comment | 3 TrackBacks

(photo: cooking at home begins with basic ingredients; olive oil is key)

"By becoming a cook, you can leave processed foods behind, creating more healthful, less expensive and better-tasting food that requires less energy, water and land per calorie and reduces our carbon footprint. Not a bad result for us -- or the planet."

Why Don't Americans Cook at Home?

The two sentences above are part of a well written article by Mark Bittman, the esteemed journalist and food writer. Bittman's main thesis is centered on the notion that Americans do not cook enough of their own food, rather they rely on ready to eat foods prepared via fast food outlets, restaurants, or mega-corporations. In short, Bittman believes that we've lost the basic ability to cook at home and, for many, were never taught the basic life skill.

Italian Children's Book: ABC Italiano and Learning Italian

By Vincent Scordo on December 15, 2010 | Comments | 1 TrackBack

My first experience with the Italian language was in utero and I suspect I overheard a conversation between my mother and grandmother in relation to food (something along the the lines, "cosa stai facendo per la cena?" or what are you making for dinner?). Post birth, I didn't aquire English until I was five or so; legend has it that my mother dropped me off at kindergarten class in 1981 and the teacher asked if I just flew in from Milan given my brown leather boots, Merino wool short sleeved turtle neck, deep tan, and inability to speak the English language? My kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Biggio, argued that I should work on my English at home and register for school the following year. Of course, my mother refused and told, not suggested, Mrs. Biggio I was ready for school and that I would pick up English quickly.

Needless to say, I was speaking full blown English by the time Christmas arrived and I may have even been permitted to wear a pair of white sneakers to class on occasion (I'll save my snack time story for another post).

My mother was right to suggest to Mrs Biggio that I start school even though my primary language was not English given how our brains our structured for language acquisition. That is to say, most linguists agree that the time period from birth to just prior to puberty is a golden period in terms of language acquisition and that the "language acquisition device" -- a mechanism which enables an individual to recreate correctly the rules (grammar) and certain other characteristics of language used by speakers around the learner is strongest during the aforementioned time period.

I was fortunate to be raised in two language communities (one that spoke Italian <viz., my family> and another that spoke English <viz., school, community, etc>) so the second language acquisition thing came easily. However, what if you're immediate family does not speak a second language and you're only exposed to English? The best strategy for learning Italian as a second language is to start young and to expose the child to an Italian speaking community as often as possible. A well stocked Italian children's book library wouldn't hurt, as well.

ABC Italiano is one such children's book I highly recommend. The book, written and illustrated by Sonya Caruso, is a simple and wonderful introduction to Italian for your toddler. We "tested" ABC Italiano on our 16 month old son and he thoroughly enjoyed the minimalist illustrations and selected words for each letter of the Italian alphabet. As my elementary education teacher wife suggested, the book is perfect for a young Italian language learner and both the word set the author selected along with the colorful and simple illustrations make for a great introduction to the Italian language.

In fact, we're so excited about ABC Italiano that we've partnered with the author to give two copies of the book away to two lucky Scordo.com readers. As always, there a few caveats:

- Prize Giveaway includes two (2) copies of ABC Italian to two distinct participants (i.e, only one entry per person please; one person cannot win two copies)

- What you need to do to enter: 1. leave a comment under this post on why preserving the Italian language is important to you and 2. "Like" the Scordo.com Facebook Fan page and the Italian Baby Books page. If you're a fan of Scordo on Facebook already then you'll need to click on "suggest to friends" link underneath the Scordo logo on our Facebook Fan page and spread the word to all of your friends!

- The contest is open until 12 midnight on 12/20 and two random user will be picked via Random.org (sorry contest only open to folks from the US given shipping logistics). The winner will be announced immediately on Twitter (so please follow me) and on Scordo.com by 5PM on Monday, 12/21.

- Please use a valid email address when leaving a comment so I can contact you just in case you're the lucky winner (I'll need your shipping address).

- Mamma Caruso will send out the book during the week of 12/27.

Good luck and thanks for keeping the Italian language alive and well in the United States!

The Wine Press: On The Importance of Italian American Traditions

By Vincent Scordo on December 10, 2010 | Comment | 0 TrackBacks

With the passing of my grandparents, my father and his uncles have moved to sell the first Scordo home here in the United States. The house is full of memories as I spent my first 5 years living in my grandparents two family home. In typical Italian American fashion, my parents rented the second floor apartment from my grandparents until they were able to afford their own home.

Some of my earliest and basic memories were formed in nonno and nonna's New Jersey home, including the smell of yeast and rising dough, the scent of tomato plants in late summer, raking leaves and shoveling snow (or at least pretending to!), and playing with objects in the garage and tool shed.

One particular object I was fascinated with as a young kid was the family wine press. The large wine basket press was the epitome of mechanical coolness for me and I spent hours ratcheting and unratcheting the press mechanism, pretending to be a wine maker like my grandfather.

For those of you unfamiliar with the wine making process, A wine press is used to extract juice from crushed grapes. A press exerts controlled pressure to free juice from the grape. Controlled pressure is critical for the wine making process as crushed grape seeds can lead to the release of too much tannins.

It was with great joy, then, that my father recently brought over my grandfather's basket press for me to keep at our home. The press has been in retirement mode for the last 20 years or so and I'll use the device mostly as a decorative piece in my garden. I'll also use the press as a personal reminder to keep our Italian traditions alive and well; especially for the second and third generation Italian Americans. I encourage you to do the same with your family and children so that the Italian way of living here in the United States is preserved! The press was made by Baccellieri Bros. & Co. in Philadelphia, PA.

Italian Rituals: The Sunday Visit

By Vincent Scordo on November 14, 2010 | Comments | 0 TrackBacks

(photo: nonno and nonna's New Jersey basement where I first experienced the "Sunday Visit")

One of the nicest Italian rituals I continue to observe to this day is the "Sunday visit" The idea of the Sunday visit is centered on spending time with your family and friends, maybe consuming an espresso or aperitif, and celebrating a leisurely day without work or obligations. I was exposed to the Sunday visit early on at my grandparent's home, where we lived with my parents until I was five years old, and was amazed at the stream of folks entering our finished basement just to say "hello."

My grandmother's brothers or family friends were frequent guests and I'd get a kick at sitting at the plastic covered table with the weathered men (the women were at home making lunch, usually capretto, pasta ,coniglio, etc. which didn't strike me as odd as a little boy). The conversation was, of course, in Italian and the men didn't think anything of a 5 year old, American born, boy speaking perfect Calabrian dialect. As a pretentious kid, I'd ask all sorts of questions and was only asked to get up from the table if there was an adult waiting for a seat (thinking back the men were more than courteous). When I was asked to get up I'd walk over to the couch located at the back of room and from that vantage point I'd marvel at the smoke filled room with simultaneous conversations going on all at once; the environment was carnival like yet elegant with well dressed folks drinking exotic liquors and sipping dark coffee from small cups. It wasn't until I went off to college that I realized that the Sunday visits were, in a sense, social experiments were I learned the art of conversation, family hierarchy, the value of money and the importance of loyalty.

I'm not sure if my son Tommaso will experience the same existential, Sunday morning, moments his dad experienced in the early 1980's, but I hope, at the least, he realizes that remaining close and loyal to one's family can bring about tremendous fulfillment and satisfaction (that is to say, it can make life truly beautiful).

Homemade Wine Making Weekend

By Vincent Scordo on October 7, 2010 | Comments | 6 TrackBacks

(photo: grapes ready to be crushed)

Late September is one of my favorite times of the year here in Northern New Jersey. The temperature and humidity dip, leaves begin to change color, and I begin to relish my days spent outdoors in the sun and cool air (it's amazing what happens to one's sense of appreciation when certain things won't be around for much longer).

September is also wine making season in the Scordo household and it's a tradition that started in the late 1960's / early 1970's when both my grandparents and parents immigrated to the US from Pellegrina in Southern Italy (near Bagnara Calabra, Calabria).

For the Scordo family, the idea of making homemade wine in the United States is tied directly to large scale wine production in Calabria. That is to say, Nonno Scordo owned a modest vineyard and made both a local table wine he sold in the region and also grape juice, which he sold to larger wine producers as a blending juice (for more expensive and prized wines). Nonno's wine was also consumed by the immediate family and when they picked up and left for the US, he continued making wine, at a much smaller scale, in his New Jersey backyard. The formula or recipe changed given the availability of grape varietals, but the end product was just as delicious and satisfying as his Italian variant.

My father and his brothers have continued the wine making tradition since Nonno's death and back in 2008 I documented the process in my, "How to Make Homemade Wine" article.

What follows are some photos from the 2010 edition of the Scordo wine making tradition.

Here are some other wine resources from Scordo.com:

(photo: proud first and second generation Italian Americans)

(photo: grape juice)

(photo: grenache grapes ready to be crushed. did you know "grenache" is the world's most popular wine grape?)

(photo:California grapes ready to be crushed by hand)

(photo: the Scordo vineyard in Pellegrina, Bagnara Calabra)

On The Myth of Equating Poor Eating Habits with Economic Class or Spending Power

By Vincent Scordo on February 24, 2010 | Comments | 6 TrackBacks

(photo: Bok Choy with garlic, olive oil, and red pepper flakes: $2.00 for 2 pounds)

The Tradition You Come From Matters

One of the critical life lessons I learned from my Italian family is how to value food. Specifically, I was taught:

1. How to cook and the closely associated idea of,

2. Why food is important and should be taken seriously.

My mother taught me the mechanics of making all sorts of foods from scratch, ranging from pasta to risotto and roasted baby goat to pan seared swordfish. And at the same time, I learned how important it was to make time for preparing food and, thereafter, share it at a communal table with family and friends (and to repeat the process as much as possible). I equate the latter lesson I was taught to the importance of reading and scholarly endeavors in the Jewish tradition, for example. The idea of food being important and necessary for a good quality life is in my Italian blood and I can't imagine living any other way (I know folks who place incredible value on Yankee baseball or a shiny new car every three years; are these misguided values?).

Why Don't American Make Food at Home?

In turn, it comes as a great shock and disappointment when one looks around and sees a culture of fast food, obesity, and the general lack of importance in relation to consuming homemade food in the US. Specifically, we hear many reasons from the so-called "food experts", including the notion that buying quality ingredients to produce fresh and homemade food is an expensive endeavor in the United States (ask a European how expensive food is). And, moreover, that it's more economical for a family of four to purchase dinner and lunch from McDonald's, for example, then to go out and buy fresh food (this isn't the view of the food expert, but rather American society as a whole). The implication is that the poor choose fast food and other high calorie meals because they have no choice and are priced out from shopping for fruits, vegetables, fish, meats, grains, etc.

To the latter assertion I say, "nonsense!" And, yes, I'm going to turn to the recent immigrant storybook to illustrate that one doesn't need to spend a fortune to eat well and, moreover, that a family of four can take his or her fast food budget and prepare "from scratch" meals that are quick, cheap, healthy, and taste good (eating well doesn't equate to great spending power, as the folks at SeriousEats.com seem to suggest when responding to one of Michael Pollan's eating tips).

(photo: One pound of Wild Flounder made with breadcrumbs, olive oil, and lemon zest. The fish easily fed four people: $9.99 per pound or $10.00 for serving of four).

It's Cheaper to Buy Good Food Versus Fast Food

Let's take the price of an average meal at McDonalds for four and say that the Smith family will consume four medium size French fries, three cheeseburgers, one six piece chicken McNugget, and four medium sizes Cokes (let's assume dinner will cost about $20; I don't have access to a menu with prices so I just estimated). With that same $20 I can head to my local independent market (some would call it a gourmet market) and purchase the following items for dinner (I actually bought these items for dinner two days ago):

- 1 pounds of wild flounder fillet for $9.99 per pound or $10.00

- 1 box of artisan ravioli from Vitamia in Lodi, NJ (16 total ravioli) for $4.50

- 2 medium sized Bok Choy heads (about 2lbs for 99 cents a poud) for $2.00

- 1 loaf of Sullivan Street bread (this is a large bread which will last a few days) for $3.50

- Total: $20.00

Note: I live in a region of the US where the cost of living is high.

With the above ingredients I made baked flounder with breadcrumbs, lemon zest, and olive oil, ravioli with already prepared homemade tomato sauce, and sautéed bok choy with garlic and olive oil. We consumed the bread with our fish and vegetable. We did finish up our meal with two fresh pears and two oranges that were purchased during a different trip to the market. The meal fed 4 adults (with an appropriate sized portion of fish, vegetable, and bread per person and we started the meal with 4 ravioli per serving).

Our meal was tasty, satisfying, made with fresh ingredients, and for the exception of the ravioli and bread, prepared at home. You could certainly make your own bread and pasta at home, and keep price down, but for a Mon-Fri type of meal this is the sort of "pre packaged" items that are ok to buy, in my view.

(photo: Artisan ravioli made by Vitamia in Lodi, NJ with homemade tomato sauce with mushrooms, made a few nights earlier: 1 pound for $4.50 ).

An Explanation

So, why is it that many poor to middle income families choose the fast food route when it comes to meal choice? Could the families who choose prepared food not be ingrained with the idea that consuming quality food is important? If not for my specific culture and upbringing, for example, I certainly would not consider food an important part of living in the US because it's not taught at school or praised in the media. Therefore, a probable explanation for eating habits in the US may be cultural norms rather than income or access to fresh ingredients. In sum, I choose to spend my twenty dollars for wild/fresh fish, greens, artisan bread, and handmade ravioli, as opposed to prepared French fries, cheeseburgers, Coke, and deep fried chicken nuggets, because I was taught from an early age to value food and make it at home. Eating well isn't a by-product of socio-economic factors (don't listen to the food experts), but rather how one is raised and, in turn, views the preparation and consumption of food. Being poor doesn't force you to eat at McDonald's, rather being taught that consuming pre-made food is acceptable (from an early age) and part of how one lives is the culprit.

Avoiding the Disease of Self Entitlement: 3 Symptoms and Cures

By Vincent Scordo on December 11, 2009 | Comments | 0 TrackBacks

(photo: cast from the film, American Psycho)

I see it all the time, twenty and thirty somethings ingrained with the idea that they deserve what they deem desirable, whether it be a new wardrobe, apartment in a trendy city, new luxury car, a monstrous new kitchen, the latest Smartphone, and/or a 6 bedroom home in a privileged suburb. Let me break the news to you in a subtle fashion: Dear Twenty or Thirty Something, You don't deserve anything! It doesn't matter if you've lived a privileged life in the past or attended the finest universities where high-brow culture and aesthetics are taught alongside neurobiology and philosophy, when it comes to self entitlement you might as well be begging on the street because what you desire isn't always what you should or can get!

I see less of the self entitlement disease in the offspring of recent immigrants and amongst the working class set, but there does seem to be a trend amongst middle class adults (whether young adults <Gen X and Y> or burgeoning teenagers) to want and acquire what hasn't been earned or deserved.

Let's look at a few examples of specific symptoms associated with the self entitlement disease and how an average, middle class, twenty something can rid him/herself of the early symptoms and, in turn, find a cure for the larger, possibly life debilitating, disease:

1. Symptom: Yearning for gadgets and services with monthly, auto renewing, fees.

Often the young adults will look around and notice peers with $200+ Smartphones like the iPhone, HTC, Droid, etc, and crave not only the hardware but also the data, phone, and text plans. The same adult also needs his or her own DVR (like Tivo or add on from the cable company), unlimited cable stations, Netflix subscription, game console, and an open door policy on iTune purchases.

How to cure the symptoms: Stick with a basic phone with a bare bones monthly plan (and use you work computer and home or office land line for calls). Use your personal workstation for viewing free shows on the web and rent movies for free from your local library. Your local library will also find any new music you may want to listen to, so just pick up the CD from your local library.

2. Symptom: Yearning for a new car with all the bells and whistles via monthly lease.

How to cure the symptom: The adult has to first get it in his or her mind that it doesn't matter what type of car one drives. Thereafter, the adult should buy a use vehicle with basic safety features and good reliability and low cost of vehicle ownership. There's plenty of time to maybe one day own a nice vehicle (if that sort of thing is important, but folks between the ages of 18-45 should focus on building real wealth and not German nameplates and leather seats).

3. Symptom: Yearning for an apartment in a big city or big home in the suburbs.

How to cure the symptoms: As we all now clearly see not everyone can afford a home or, more specifically, an ideal home. If you're 25 or so and suddenly want a 5 bedroom home in a quiet street in the suburbs because you grew up in that sort of environment or because you have that image in your head, that's not good enough. If you want to own your own home, then you'll need, at the least, a 20 percent down payment, ability to spend lots of money and time on home improvement and necessary maintenance, and the ability to build wealth along side paying your mortgage and property taxes (that is to say, if your total housing expenses exceed 20-25 percent of your take home pay, then you are in over your head and aren't doing other things with your money).

In addition to self entitlement being bad for the individual, it also sets up unnecessary desires, beliefs, and wants in the children of the self entitled class.

Personal Finance Beginnings: What To Tell Your Kids About Money

By Vincent Scordo on November 25, 2009 | Comments | 0 TrackBacks

(photo: my young uncle washing his hands in an outdoor fountain in Bagnara, Calabra - Village of Pellegrina)

One of the most important life skills you can teach your child is how to save or, more specifically, why it's important to save. My parents would often bring me to the bank as a small child and I observed my mother writing and cashing checks, depositing money, etc. By the time I was 7 or 8 my parents told me about a little blue passbook they had opened for me when I was born. The passbook (or savings account) contained some regular deposits and a healthy amount of money. I had no sense of the value of the account or what the cash really represented, but I do remember my parents telling me:

1. This is where you will (not can) save any money you come across (birthday, holiday, etc.).

2. Once you put money into the little blue book you really do not want to take it out.

3. The bank will give you some money in return for keeping a little blue book full of money.

The lesson above was very simplistic; namely, that saving is good and should be taken seriously. Beyond setting up a savings account for me, my parents also exposed me to their financial goings-on from a very early age (I knew for example how much my father made via his paycheck, what our tenants would pay in rent each month, and how much my dad would collect for small handy-man type projects). My parents hid nothing about our financial life or status, so I was "in the know" from a very early age. Some experts have argued, especially in light of the recent recession, that parents should aim to shelter financial goings on from their kids given stress, anxiety, etc. And while every parents should customize parental advice for his or her child (read: understand what type of child you have and adjust parents style), I believe in empowering children and raising smart, pragmatic, kids who will be ready to face the world!

So, when beginning your child's fiscal eduction you want to make sure you do the following:

1. Set up a savings account and describe what it is meant for and how you make regular deposits.

2. Expose your child to every inch of your family's financial life (in a sense treat the child as an adult and describe how much money the family makes <and the different sources of money>, what the family does with money, and what money can and cannot provide).

Start the personal finance discussion slowly and make it as easy to digest as possible. That is to say, talk about saving money and not interest rates or how money is needed for a home, food, and security and not to buy video games, go out to eat, or impress people.

I know of some families that never discuss money matters and this can be potentially dangerous to a child's personal finance eduction (which isn't taught in schools, unfortunately, and is the responsibility of the parent). Money is not a dirty word nor should parents treat it as formal topic only open to adults. The sooner a child feels comfortable dealing with money the quicker he/she can begin to see the value of money what it can and cannot provide an individual (security versus happiness, for example).

10 Parenting Tips For New Parents

By Vincent Scordo on August 23, 2009 | Comment | 0 TrackBacks

When Tommaso arrived a little over 5 weeks ago he did not come with a technical specification document (that's geek speak for instructions on how he was built). You see if Tommaso had the correct documents I could simply troubleshoot his crying, turning red, uncontrollable kicking, etc. as opposed to the, ummm, going with my gut type behavior I'm exhibiting these days.

Here are some things I've learned this past month (to possibly help you avoid going with the gut thing):

1. Prepare for the unexpected. What does non stop crying or a little bit of blood in spit up mean? Moreover, is gas normal for newborns and has little Timmy eaten enough tonight? Newborns are reacting to their bodies and mom and dad just react to little Timmy (the tough part is that parents don't know when a particular reaction is coming or what it means). The expression, "going with the flow" never rang so true.

2. You will not sleep (very much) - it's true. Functioning without sleep is difficult at first, but after the first few days you will adjust and function fine. Most babies begin sleeping through the night after 3 months or so (thank God).

3. Specialization (thank you, Marx). It's almost impossible to "share" taking care of the baby. Naturally, you and your partner will excel at doing certain tasks over others (learn who can do what better and divide and conquer). This is efficient sharing.

4. Breast Feeding is Tough. As I've told many people, my wife is doing most of the "heavy lifting" when it comes to nurturing our new son. That is to say, she is breast feeding and while things are going smoothly now, breast feeding was a challenge in the early stages (don't even ask). So, bribe your lactation consultant at the hospital and get to know other moms who are going through the same experience (actually, someone should build a Google for breast feeding).

5. Ask for Help / Relocate Near Your Parents. It is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to take care of a newborn baby all alone. We, for example, have had tremendous help from our parents, family, friends, etc. and we would be in terrible shape without our generous social network. Read the above as: Don't go at it alone.

6. Enjoy the time, it really does go by quickly. Newborns change very quickly - from body hair to body fat, your typical baby is going through tremendous change, so try and savor each moment (specific things will never happen again!).

7. You will need lots of diapers. We were lucky enough to have many boxes of newborn diapers given to us via my wife's baby shower and it still blows my mind how many diapers we change per day (I know it ain't' Green).

8. Speak to your baby as much as possible. Babies respond to language even though they have yet to acquire speech. Our 5 week old loves to follow conversations with his head and eyes; in fact, Charlie Rose has already inquired if he's available to host the show in a few years.

9. Cook in bulk / eat leftovers. It becomes difficult to cook with a newborn (and this is coming from a dyed in the wool home cook), but if you or your significant other is making dinner one night try making a few dishes to store in the freezer. If you can't get into the kitchen, ask friends and family to cook for you (and reward them with a bottle of wine or some time with the new baby!).

10. Go out for walks / socialize with family and friends. You may have a tendency to lock yourself in your home and take care of your baby, but visiting family, strolls around the neighborhood, or even a quick car ride for a coffee/food does wonders for mom's mental state!

Feel free to add your tips and experiences and I'll include them in the list above!

Do Your Children Hustle? 7 Tips for Parents

By Vincent Scordo on January 31, 2009 | Comments | 3 TrackBacks

(photo: child labor in the early 20th century, source of photo unknown).

Continuing on the theme of offering parents practical tips, I ask the all important question: do you encourage your children to hustle?

Teaching your kids to hustle or instilling a good work ethic is critical to raising children, in my view. And it seems many of today's young children are spoiled and posses a sense of self entitlement, partly because of parenting style and cultural norms. I'm afraid that the old school mentality of not babying children may indeed be correct. I'm certainly not advocating that parents create a "sweat shop" (per the photo above) atmosphere at home, but parents must create an environment that consists of A., love, B., compassion, C., safety, and D., the idea that working hard is important.

Here are a few tips that may instill the "hustling" mentality in your young children:

1. Be a role model. Do you work hard around the house? Children are like little scientists who observe and thereafter run tests (specifically, they're observing their parents and then mimicking what they see).

2. Talk about the value of work. Tell your children about what hard work means and what it can provide in the way of security and rewards. It's often a good idea to reinforce what children observe with an explanation via a conversation.

3. Allow your child to fail, yet don't allow them to not finish a given task or chore around the house. One of the most critical life lessons my parents taught me early on is that it's ok to make mistakes, fail, or not do something well, but it's never ok to be lazy or not complete a given project. In turn, I think they instilled stubbornness in me (for better or worse!). Is stubbornness a good life skill?

4. Teach your kids the value of money and that working hard can lead to acquiring money for savings and a good quality of life. I've heard from parenting experts who advise not to teach young kids about money, but rather wait for the appropriate time period (that is, once they reach a certain age). In my view, it's never too early to begin talking about money with children (of course the conversation should scale with the your child's age and cognitive ability, but generally the US produces young adults with a very poor personal finance IQ).

5. Point out examples of laziness or behavior that is not acceptable. It's tough for young kids to understand theory, but they easily digest examples of bad behavior in the real world. Here I'm not advocating a boot camp type mentality but I do believe that discipline is a good thing when raising kids.

6. Try and instill patience and the idea that work will not be enjoyable or fun all the time. I had a hard time with acquiring the patience skill set as a child and I often wanted to finish up my homework, chores, meals, etc. in the quickest possible fashion. In my mind if I finished something quickly I could move on to the next thing whether it be playing outside or getting to school. Patience is a great skill set and it goes hand in hand with the idea of having perspective (or not sweating the small stuff).

7. Reward your child if they show positive behavior - including a small allowance, day at the park, a new book from the bookstore, etc. Children need motivation just like adults!

Update February, 2010: It's interesting to look back at the above tips after having a child. Back in Jan of 2009 we were 6 months away from having our first child and I have to say that I wouldn't change any of my recommendations.

What I will say, however, is that I can see why I compassionate parent would want to spoil their child. Like most good parents, you want to see your child happy and without worry, but it's important to differentiate between a child's long term happiness and the sort of quick hit happiness that comes about with spoiling your child on a day to day basis.

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