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Recently, our extended family has been going through a difficult period caring for my 89 year old grandfather (Nonno Vincenzo).  Nonno Vincenzo has been housebound for the last year suffering from dementia, et. al.  I was named after Nonno Vincenzo and we share many of the same traits (including being calm most of the time with the occasional loss of temper).

Nonno's physical decline got me thinking about how personal identity is shaped by family and whether it's a good thing?  For example, in most large cities in the Western world, people cherish the ability to create their own identity and the personal freedom that comes along with such a choice.  In Ancient Greece, however, a newborn male became a citizen only after being acknowledge as a member of a particular family.  The newborn was also, in most cases, named after the paternal grandfather.   So, in many ways, identity in Ancient Greek culture was shaped by the family the individual was born into.

Family, as I've said in other posts, is critical if you're interested in money matters and living a frugal life.  The way I see it, an extended family can help with:

1. Raising and caring for children (this has been the model for thousands of years and it's only in Western countries where we've moved away from this idea).

2. Managing a home (including home repairs and maintenance).  This is especially true if you live in an older home and have family members who are handy.

3. Maintaining a social life.  OK, hanging out with your 90 year old grandfather on a Friday night may not be that much fun, but the occasional dinner and party with family is really nice.  I try to have dinner my parents once a week and I like having family over for a coffee and light snacks every month or so.

4. General advice.  Think of Uncle Frank and Aunt Maria as pro bono attorneys and psychotherapists who can offer advice on tough life decisions.  Making a decision in a vacuum is not good and I like to shop ideas and possible solutions around with family before acting on an item, so I think this tip is particularly important.

Let me know what you think in terms of family, identity, and how you've managed to stay close to your extended family.

Okay, it's my tenth post and I should tell you a little more about my last name and the domain name of this site, Scordo.com.  Both my parents hail from the extreme southern province of Calabria, Italy - think of the tip of the boot (they were born there and could see Sicily from the Mediterranean coast near their 200 year old stone homes). 

So, apparently my ancestors had pretty bad memories because Scordo literally means, "to forget or have forgotten."  My last name is actually pretty appropriate given that my short term memory isn't exactly best in class.  Take my inability to remember first names at cocktail parties or business meetings; I've been known to embarrass myself at the aforementioned events on more than a couple of occasions (I do recover gracefully, however).    Anyway, better to have a short term memory lapse as opposed to a receding hairline or oversized gut (both of which, I'm happy to report, I don't possess, as of yet).

Well, the search is over!

Heather Armstrong runs a blog called, Dooce.com which has recently been all over the media.  Armstrong also just published a collection of essays entitled, "Things I Learned About My Dad" 

I read Heather's blog pretty regularly and I'm not quite sure why, but I think it has something to do with how engrossing and ever changing the content is.

I also like Jason Perlow's blog, Off the Broiler and Jason Kottke's blog, kottke.org/ . 

Off the Broiler is foodie centered and Jason has great reviews of local Northern New Jersey food spots, while Kottke.org is more of a generalist blog focused on culture, technology, etc.

Oh, Sharyn Morrow runs a blog called, Weapons of Mass Distraction which follows her daily goings on with her son.